Stop Blaming And Start Loving Yourself


Self- love is the most precious gift you can ever give to yourself. Here are a few ways to show yourself some love:

Stop negative self-talk: Pay heed to your internal monologue. And whenever you feel it shifting into criticism of your relationships, your actions, your choices, your body, try to stop. It takes some time to truly overcome negative self-talk, so begin by just making yourself aware of it. How often are you berating yourself? Could you do it less? Give it a go.

Acknowledge your success: Before you go to bed each night, think back on your day. What stood out as something that you did well, that felt great, that was a major or minor success? Did you kick ass at a presentation or did you close a deal? Did you put together a fantastic outfit? Did you spend quality time with your kids? Some days this will feel more challenging than others, but keep at it. Even if the day’s success seems small, acknowledge it. And give yourself credit for it. You did it. You succeeded today.

Speak to the mirror: It’s an Old Chestnut. But I recommend it because it WORKS, guys. Before you begin your day in earnest, look in the mirror. Say good things about your body out loud while looking at your reflection. Say, “I have lustrous hair.” Say, “I have kind and welcoming eyes.” Say, “I have strong powerful legs.” Try to think of something new each day. You may run out, so feel free to recycle. Just try it. It’s amazing.

Forgive yourself quickly: We are all our own worst critics. Next time you “mess up” and fall down a self-hatred spree, listen to how you are talking to and about yourself. Would you talk in the same tone with your mother? Partner? Sister? Best friend? If not, why are you saying them to yourself? Everyone stumbles, and it is essential to learn from mistakes. But focus on the learning and forgiving, and try to move away from self-loathing, blame and shame.

Praise a lot: In my experience, praise is returned by praise. Giving praise to friends, family members, colleagues and even strangers creates a conducive environment to positivity. Pay a compliment to someone—for a moment of bravery, a good decision, an action, a choice—-and you will be surprised at how quickly that praise come back to you. How is this going to help you in Self-Love thingy? Simple, receiving compliments can be very encouraging for your self-confidence that leads to self-love. But on a subtler level, when you dish out praise to others you are acknowledging the fact that the successes of others bring you joy. You are not buying into the myth that there is a limited amount of beauty, success, or happiness available in the world. You are creating abundance for yourself and others. And that feels at once liberating and secure.

There are countless ways to love yourself. These are just a few to begin with. Good luck.

Stay healthy!

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